Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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