tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
