If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
