wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
How does one acquire holy water?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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