I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
