I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
