Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Randomize
