$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
