We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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