I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
