it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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