We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
