Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
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I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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