garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
