I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
