i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
do herpes really smell.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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