I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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