I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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