I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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