My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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