I just cut my nipple shaving
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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