Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
you had me at cake vodka
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
