Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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