Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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