don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
what the fuck happened to the tacos
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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