You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Randomize
