you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Vodka?
Forever.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize