Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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