I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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