Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
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He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
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YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.