Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
21 Horny People Confess Their Boldest Sexual Advances
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
29 Shocking Confessions That People Thought Were A Joke
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.