I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."