I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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