Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
our cab driver is having phone sex.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.