I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
i think im in europe. pls send help
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
