new low.... made out with someone while peeing
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
