i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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