I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
