You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
