Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
