then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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