i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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