Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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