i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
