dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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