Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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