There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
