Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
