Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
