But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize