Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
