I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
