one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
