a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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