i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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