you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
