Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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